Boy oh boy have I got a story to share with you!

In February 2017 I learnt a pretty huge and vital part of my souls ‘history’ which is directly linked with my purpose is in this life. Through this information I have begun to understand the idea of ‘Cosmic Karma’ – how in one lifetime, the experiences, trauma and hurt can bleed into another.

I believe that your ‘oversoul’ – the head of the soul group has these certain traits and characteristics which filter out across your incarnations. This is why I think if you come into contact with your other lives, you feel deeply connected – it’s like meeting an identical twin!

When I learned of this story, a lot of experiences in this life made sense. I understand why I react (or overreact!) in certain situations that make me feel a certain way. It’s a cosmic reminder of the ‘past’.

Here’s a few examples of traits, or ways that I react in certain scenarios:

1. I’m a massive people pleaser – I like to keep the peace and not let anyone down
2. Consequently I can’t say no to people. I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to subject myself to feeling guilty
3. When I hurt someone unintentionally (e.g. breaking up with someone). I know everyone goes through things like this and for me when I say or do something that upsets someone, I have a meltdown. In break ups I’ve literally been inconsolable on the floor in a ball SCREAMING. This sounds dramatic I know! I feel such grief and guilt, even if it’s something little. Sometimes if the person is really upset I actually get so frustrated I want to hurt myself. Now I’m a sensitive person but even I realise this is completely dramatic if you accidentally upset someone.
4. I also get a similar reaction when someone thinks badly of me over something that I didn’t do. A while ago, a number of people I didn’t know where told a story about who I was which was all lies, they were told what an awful person I was that had done awful things. Knowing that these people saw me as a bad person when I wasn’t, killed me inside.
5. I am a peacekeeper – there have been scenarios, in groups of people where I could feel the energy turning south (things were about to get ugly). I would deal with this in two ways – 1. Try and keep the peace, become the diplomatic one. and 2. Leave the room. Any confrontation was a horrifying prospect to me.

Anyway, I’ll stop burying the lead and get into story time!

The Orion Crusades

There was a time that is deeply connected to my current soul’s incarnation that we’ll call ‘The Orion Crusades’.

This is where there were certain malevolent beings in the constellation of Orion searching for civilisations and bloodlines that were a threat to them. Not only this but they didn’t understand them and they could not be controlled. These people were on the opposite end of the spectrum to their own.

They would search all over the universe and when they found them and realised they were a threat, they would wage war and destroy them. Some were wiped out in an instant.

However, they didn’t want to waste resources destroying just any race they came across. They needed to find out about them first.

Unique Abilities

In my lifetime connected with this period, I was gifted with certain abilities. You know how some psychics or intuitives are very good at reading individuals? Like they can give great readings one to one?

Well that wasn’t me.

Nope, I had the unique ability of reading groups.

With one to one readings the energy is very focused and individualised but when it is a group the energy can scatter and it’s difficult to concentrate on the one. What I learned is that I had a natural ability to read groups, I could tell how people’s energy would merge and create a group consciousness.

On top of this I had other skills to do with pattern recognition and analytics. So I was a spiritual being with the ability to read large groups of people along with logical analytical skills. I had unique abilities.

Abilities that could be exploited.

And they were.

Walking the Line

When it was discovered that I had these abilities, I was used.

Threats were made to me and my family. I was being blackmailed. In the beginning, I thought I could control the situation without doing any harm. I said to myself that I was going to do this but try to give them wrong information, give them bad information.

I would walk the line and everything would be alright. I managed to do this for a long time, until people started getting hurt.

What I would do was read and analyse the energy of the people in a civilisation and give an assessment. These assessments would then be used to determine if they were a threat. Inevitably they found some that were.

And they were destroyed.

There were massacres, entire bloodlines destroyed. One in particular was similar to Native American. I felt anger, guilt, grief. I didn’t feel like I had a choice!

What’s even worse is that over time I started to feel like I did it. That I caused this pain and destruction. I felt guilty because I hurt those people.

But I didn’t!

I didn’t kill those people, they did. That’s not who I am and I would never do those things.

Since then many lifetimes have been spent trying to forgive myself and realise I was not to blame.

Karmic Cocktail

As a result, there is a cocktail of karma that my soul is releasing in this life.

In the first ‘contact’ dream I had around 2 years ago, I was unable to speak. I struggled to speak and interact with guides and beings because of blockages in my throat chakra.

Why blockages in my throat chakra?

Well now you know.

I have this hesitation with using my voice and speaking my truth because of the traumatic experiences in that life. And when I have shared how I felt or said things which have inadvertently hurt people, it’s brought back soul-imprinted memories.

I don’t like saying no to anyone because I don’t want to let anyone down.

That’s why in this life it’s SO SO important to say no to people. It’s time to know my soul and connect with my heart. Not from being a place of a trying to be a people pleaser. I can’t carry the grief or guilt with me because it’s not mine.

And this is what empathetic people do, they carry other peoples grief, hurt of pain. We need to forgive ourselves to release this energy.

I realised that I chose to be an actor in this life was to reconnect with using my voice. It also resonated with connecting with large groups. Somewhere along the line I felt that direct teaching would be too difficult and I wouldn’t be able to get the messages that I wanted through. So I decided to explore story telling and sharing stories.

Part of the reason I am here is to open people up to messages from the cosmos, from spirit, without the messages having to be ‘true’ (i.e. through fiction).

You know what brings me peace? I was told that people who represent individuals who may have been harmed indirectly by what I was involved in, will be healed indirectly (or directly) by what I do in this life.

My balancing is that I have to share my experiences, have to share my heart and that is the peace that I give back.

And these bloodlines that were destroyed in the Orion Crusades? As Gigi Young says:

“In tragedy there is a gift, there always is.”

These beings were able to die because it was time for them to awaken into another realm in the cosmos.

These beings became light healers and workers.

Thank you for reading.

P.S. Information about the Orion Crusades came through a Bird guide via the wonderful Gigi Young. I’ve seen this guide in a dream earlier this year but not communicated with them yet.

P.P.S. If you want to read Gigi’s full story click here.